I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
