you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
