I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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