I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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