this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Let's get the cat blown out
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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