Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
