We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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