I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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