I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
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But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
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We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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