I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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