Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
