omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize