I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
