we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
