My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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