Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
