He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize