i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
