you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
