We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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