capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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