Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.