if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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