Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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