pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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