I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
