I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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