Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
