I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
