The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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