How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
