We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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