i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
