It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
