so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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