hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
