I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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