is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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