Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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