You're completely useless in the revolution.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
