I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
