No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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