Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.