she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later