the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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