New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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