Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
