Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
