no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
