Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
