What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
