Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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