the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
