I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
not ubering you a puppy
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
