wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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