It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
