jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize