We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
