can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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