Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.