can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
