It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
