she kept yelling 'call me bella'
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i drank out of a bidet.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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